Friday, August 30, 2013

How To Become a Leftist "Journolist" In 10 Easy Steps The Kaili Joy Gray/Tommy Christopher Way (Hint-Palin)

Hey kids-are you full of hate against "the man"? Are you itching to become a crusading leftist writer and get chicks (works for leftist women as well see "Snipy" at Wonkette), notoriety and, lets face it, lots of money?

If you want to become a raging hot head like Ed Schultz and eventually morph into a spittle flecked grey head of the left like Chris Matthews you've got to start somewhere-and, turncoat that I am, I'm going to give you the secret to success. 

It's easy and has worked for these leftist luminaries; Kaili Joy Gray, graduating from being a nobody at raging radical site Daily Kos to regular columnist there, and now a gibberer at Wonkette. Tommy Christopher, from a zero to the object of conservative hate with his biggest trophy yet in his young career as a rabble rouser-a hit piece on him at Conservatives4Palin-way to go!

Who else has climbed this Jacob's ladder to heaven by wrestling with their Angel of fame. Well there's Rebecca Schoenkopf the editor at Wonkette, the genuinely weird but highly succesful "Gryphen" at Immoral Minority who has cornered a mass market in crazies, and the even more weird Malia Litman who inhabits the outer sphere of planet bonkers. These, and many many more, have achieved niche success on the outer reaches of leftism by following this simple ten point program.

1. Write a column ridiculing Sarah Palin use "idiot" to show how clever you are
2. Write a column calling Palin "grifter" whilst constantly begging your own readers for money (Wonkette speciality)
3. Write a column full of personal attacks on any member of the Palin family especially her special needs son (again, a Wonkette speciality)
4. Write a Palin column  accompanied by the worst image you can find of her-this works well for Wonkette/Immoral Minority.
5. Write a column about Palin and include remarks from half a decade ago and take them out of context 
6. Write a column about Palin and include the words "Quitter"/Snowbilly/Trailer-Park/1/2 Term/racist/irrelevant 
7.Write a column about Palin which is full of wrong information e.g."her endorsements are a kiss of death"
8. Write a column calling anyone who makes mistakes "The new Palin" no matter how remote the connection
9. Write a column ridiculing Palin's faith/right to life beliefs-that goes down well with the far left crowd.
10.Write a column attacking any prominent conservative by making a connection to Palin.

If you follow this tried and true formula for page views for your blog, or to create a resume sure to be admired by Daily Kos/Wonkette/Mediaite and all the other Palin hate sites you'll be on your way! 

Who knows you might even end up at Salon or The Guardian where Wonkette graduates like Newell and Cox go to become the high end of the market Palin haters and big income earners. 

Hey, don't forget to acknowledge me when you make your breakthrough-an hate column or two-as Wonkette does on me from time to time, will suffice. (gives me cred on the right-just between you and me).

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